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Teacher's Digest
5-Rules of Writing
1. Verbs HAS to agree
with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not
words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a
sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever
split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like
the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid
annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less
specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks
(however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever
use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence
fragments.
11. Contractions aren't
necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and
phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant;
do not use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.
14. One should NEVER
generalize.
15. Comparisons are as
bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double
negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands &
abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences?
Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing
are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is
to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas,
that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words
however should be
enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word
when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation
points!!!
24. Use words correctly,
irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is
always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking
ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in
it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell
me what you know."
28. If you've heard it
once, you've heard it a thousand times -- Resist
hyperbole; not one
writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for
children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at
high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed
metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical
questions?
33. Exaggeration is a
billion times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully
to see if you any words out.
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