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For Teachers:

Teacher's Digest

1-Are You A Real Teacher

If you agree with at least ten of the following, you are a real teacher:

1-You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.

2-You find humor in other people's stupidity.

3-You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers free."

4-You believe chocolate is a food group.

5-You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

6-You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

7-You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."

8-When out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at a child.

9-You have no time for a life from August through June.

10-Putting all "A's" on a report card would make your life SO much easier.

11-When you mention vegetables, you are not talking about food.

12-You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

13-You encourage a parent to check into home schooling.

14-You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in a middle school for a least five years.

15-You can't have children because there isn't any name you can hear that wouldn't elevate your blood pressure.

16-You can "sense" gum.

17-You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.

18-Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like that?"

19-Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.

20-You believe that every teacher can be a real teacher.

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