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Classroom Activities:
Word Funs for
English Classrooms:
Ten
Top Puns:
1. Two
vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm
sorry,
gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two
boll weevils grew up in the deep South. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind
in the
cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second
one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
3. Two
Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they
lit a
fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you
can't
have your kayak and heat it, too.
4. A
three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He
slides
up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man
who
shot my paw."
5. Did
you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during
a root
canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
6. A
group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office
and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as
they
moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer."
7. A
woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of
them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other
goes
to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan
sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes
she
also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8.
These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone
liked
to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist
across
town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the
good
fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug
in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars
and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close
up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that
Hugh,
and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
9.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He
also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with
his
odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him....
what?
(Oh man, this is so bad, it's good) A super callused fragile
mystic
hexed by halitosis.
10.
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different
puns
to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns
would
make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Source:www.fun-with-words.com
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